Okay God, what are you doing?

I just got home from church. While at church, I got some pretty raunchy news. You see, I've been waiting all summer to hear if and when my school is going to get a modular classroom for my sixth grade class. You read that right. It's July 27th, and I still don't have a classroom. To make matters worse, this is the second summer in a row that this has happened to me. Last summer I didn't get to move into my classroom until a week AFTER school started. For a week, my 24 6th graders had to cram into the tiny home ec room and had to sit crammed together in a stuffy, worn-out classroom. Then over Labor Day weekend (a week after school started) I came in and set up my classroom. If you're not a teacher you might not fully comprehend the ridiculosity of this situation. Anyways...back to the raunchy news. I had been praying my brains out that my classroom would be approved at tonight's township meeting. I was jittery with anticipation. Half-way through the church service I noticed our director of finance administration was back in the room. He was supposed to be at the township meeting. I though, "Oooo goody! I get to find out that my classroom was approved." I sat in suspense through the rest of the service. The ending prayers took FOREVER! Finally, our DFA spoke up and informed us that the township took us off of the docket. They won't approve us for at least another two weeks. Keep in mind we requested this back in February or March. I just wanted to cry in the middle of the service.

God has really been molding my heart and mind this summer about trusting him. I know he can do all things. I just don't know if he will choose to do all things. He might choose to let me suffer so I can learn a lesson. What if I don't want to learn a lesson? What if I already learned the lesson last summer? I thought I was really making progress. Now I've been slammed back to my old doubting. I love God. I want to serve him. I KNOW he has my best interests at heart. But right here, right now, it sure doesn't feel like it. I think I should probably go listen to some Laura Story and watch some Dog the Bounty Hunter. That'll make me feel better.