I'll Pass on the Horror Stories, Thank You.

I've never been pregnant, but I always feel sorry for the expectant mothers who have to listen to birthing horror stories. It seems like every few weeks in the teacher's lounge that's the topic of the day. The same teachers telling their same horror stories. Or, every time I work in nursery at church the conversation somehow turns to birthing horror stories.

I don't know about the rest of the women in the world, but I'm already terrified of giving birth. I tell my husband all the time that I hope they have developed technology for teleportation by the time I have to give birth so we can just teleport the baby right out of there. So whenever I hear these horror stories, it makes adoption sound more and more wonderful.

If and when I do ever become pregnant, only my mom, mother-in-law, and doctor are allowed to tell horror stories to me. No one else is. My mom is an RN and had relatively easy births, so any stories she tells me will be accurate and medically-based. My mother-in-law had nine children, so she is a complete child-bearing expert. I have complete trust (unlike most Baptists) in medical professionals, so I trust my doctor to give me non-sensationalized stories.

I may just walk away from or block on Facebook anyone who tries to tell me horror stories while I'm pregnant. It's just rude in my opinion. Some of my pregnant friends have even complained to me about this. They are so happy to have this new life growing inside of them. Why ruin their happiness by making them think the process of bringing this life into the world is a horrific, agonizing event?

So if you are in the habit of telling birthing horror stories, STOP! Tell joyous birthing stories instead.

Practical Theology for Women: For Moms, Former Moms, and Wannabe Moms

Practical Theology for Women: For Moms, Former Moms, and Wannabe Moms

This post is perfection! (Really, it is.) I just ran across it after my other two posts about motherhood NOT being the greatest good. It was so encouraging to read I writer I admire affirm my thoughts on motherhood.

I think it is crucial for women in the church to be sensitive to those who can't or don't have children. I think it is crucial for those in the church who do have children not to make comments that downplay others' childless states. One day I was sitting in church and the man in front of me turned around and asked me how I was. I replied "fine, but busy." I then asked him how he was. He replied, "Really busy. My kids just keep me so busy. You won't understand that until you have kids." So all the extra ministries I take on because I don't have kids aren't making me busy? Working full-time, tutoring after school part-time, and taking grad classes don't constitute busyness? Of course I didn't say any of this at the time. I just fumed to my husband on the way home from church. So people with children, be careful what you say to those who are single or without children. We can be grown-ups with or without husbands or children.

Faith and Babies: Reflections on 1 Timothy 2:15 | SharperIron

Faith and Babies: Reflections on 1 Timothy 2:15 | SharperIron

So, I ran across this article on Sharper Iron. I don't really like that website much. A lot people spend way too much time bickering over ridiculous things on there. Anyways. I agree with some of it but disagree with a lot of it.

I mainly disagree with her tendency to relegate women to motherhood. She doesn't clearly address what single, widowed, or infertile women are supposed to do. I really don't think having children is the most important job of a woman. It is an important job, but I think it ties with other important jobs like caring for the needy, mentoring young women, teaching, etc. Too many women use motherhood as an excuse to avoid serving others.

Maybe my views will change slightly if I have children someday. My mom, who had four children, agrees with most of my points, though. I just want to make sure I'm a well-balanced mother someday. I don't want to be so selfishly wrapped up in my family that I don't see those in need.

What do you think?

Half the Church- A Review

Disclaimer: In case anyone is wondering, I don't get paid for book reviews. I just do them because I like to read other blogger's book reviews, so I figured I would throw mine into the mix.

I recently finished Half the Church by Carolyn Custis James. I think I first heard of it on this blog, but I can't remember and am too lazy to dig through the archives. After I read a review of it, I put it on my wishlist and forgot about it. My lovely sister-in-law, who is an even more voracious reader than I am, bought it for me for my birthday and had it sent to my house.

This book is about finding God's purpose for women in the church and in the world. James specifically addresses the suffering women endure throughout the world whether it be through sex trafficking, honor killings, or domineering husbands. One of James's big issues with Christianity today is that so much of what we focus on for women has to do with marriage, parenting, modesty, and contented singleness. These messages don't apply to ALL the women of the world. What James wants is for the Christian community to recognize is that there is more to being a woman than just being a wife or mother. Yep. You heard that right. Sounds feministic doesn't it?

I can see how many women would balk at this assertion. Surely being a mother is God's highest calling for a woman, isn't it? James doesn't think so (if I understand her correctly), and I don't either. Earlier this year (on Mother's Day to be exact), I disagreed with what my pastor preached for the first time ever. He asserted that being a mother was God's highest calling for a woman. To be honest with you, I sincerely hope that isn't my highest calling in life. If it was, then I haven't been reaching my fullest potential for the past 24 years. If it was, dear friends of mine haven't reached God's fullest potential in the past 50+ years. God calls us to do his work. This can be carried out in a number of ways: sharing the Gospel, teaching children, caring for the sick, encouraging friends, mentoring new believers. All of these can be done through women who aren't mothers. All of these things were done by my mother while my brothers and I were growing up. In fact because my mother went out of her way to serve OUTSIDE of our family, I was able to see what it was to be a true servant of God. My mom took great care of our family, but she looked beyond her comfort zone of family and sought to help those outside of her family. Her greatest calling was to serve God, not just her own family members.

So James believes we as women should seek to move out of our little comfort zones and serve those around us. We should be concerned for the downtrodden and abused. We should take that concern and act upon it. We should be integral members and workers in our churches. We shouldn't sit demurely on the sidelines while our husbands do all the work in the church. James does go a little far, however, in her opinions of what women should be allowed to do in the church. 

She seems to waffle between the complementarian and egalitarian views of how women should serve in the church. From what I could surmise, she seems to think it might be okay for women to be pastors. I'm firmly against that. I believe the Bible clearly states that women are not to hold positions of authority over men in the church. She does, however, make a good point that we spend far too much time arguing over how much women should be allowed to serve. Just let the Holy Spirit guide, and let the women work!

James's main point is that men and women need to work together in what she calls the "blessed alliance" to further the work of the kingdom. I wholeheartedly agree. Too many women are caught up in their families and homes and neglect the work of the Lord. This is not to say that God wants women to neglect their families for strangers. This is not to say that taking care of one's children is not the work of the Lord. This is not to say that women may need to do a little less outside of the home when their children are very young. This IS to say that women need to be furthering the work of the kingdom. Stop making excuses!

I know I don't have children and don't know how hard that can be. I'm sure I'll have to step back from SOME of my outside responsibilities when and if I do have children. I will not, however, stop serving in ALL areas that are outside of my family. If I did, that would be selfish. That would be detrimental to my children.

I know this sounds horrible, but I sincerely hope there is more for me in life than just being a mother. I trust God will use me both inside and outside of my family.

Time Travel

Do you ever wish you could go back to a certain period of your life for just a little bit? I certainly do. I had a wonderful childhood. Yeah, my parents made mistakes. (Like forcing me to go to my neighbors' parties, or making me have thick, eyebrow-length bangs, or not forcing me to learn how to swim.) But they did some great things too.

We moved a few times when I was a child. One of my favorite homes was a big Victorian home built in 1905. It was pretty junky when we first moved in, but my dad spent thousands of hours remodeling it. Since I was the only girl, I never had to share a room. My bedroom was the very first room to be remodeled. (It pays to be a daddy's girl.) All of my toys were in that room. I could spend hour upon hour in that room playing with Barbies or Polly Pockets (the choking hazard kind) or reading Nancy Drew mysteries. It was right next to my parents' room, so I could make easy pilgrimages to their room after watching a movie that was a little too scary. My brothers always begged to play with me in my room. It drove me crazy. I was always content to play alone. I could be more imaginative that way.

We also had an expansive backyard at that house. My brothers and I decided we would dig an underground church one summer. We dug quite a large hole but couldn't really figure out how we were going to get the dirt back on top of us once we dug it deep enough. Needless to say we never finished it because we had to move the next summer. We also spent hours upon hours with our neighbor playing a game we called "Wonder Woman and Cat Woman." I was Wonder Woman, she was Cat Woman, my brother Kent was Batman, and my other brothers were Ninja Turtles. We would run around the yard essentially solving the same crime over and over again with a few variations here and there. We were so imaginative. I spent most of the time imagining the outfits I was wearing or imagining the boyfriend that I had. Kent would imagine himself ripping the "bad guy" from limb to limb in his typical war-hungry fashion. Our neighbor girl would always be running back home to get some toy. She would say, "Back in a flash!" and return 30 minutes to an hour later. We would sit on the front step patiently waiting the entire time. 

My brother Kent and me

Those were probably the best years of my childhood. I often conjure up images of that house when I'm reading a book about an old house and need a point of reference. I often find myself craving for the simplicity of life back then. Summers spent playing in the backyard all day long. Winters spent watching my dad carve snow sculptures in our front lawn. Afternoons spent pounding out my piano lessons desperate to get back outside. Evenings spent stomping up the stairs to scare away the "bad guys" after reading another Nancy Drew novel. Sometimes I just wish I could rewind my life and spend a few days as a little girl in that big old house. Sometimes I just wish I could recapture the feeling of no pressure, no responsibility. I hope one day my children can have a childhood like mine. Maybe I can live vicariously through them.